of each days...
He has been longing to settle down with me... he always tell me his plans for us and his intention to marry me and having new family with me... Yes! I love him and I want to be with him all my life...having kids with him and supporting each other throughout our lives... But sometimes i feel unease to the fact that I could have to sacrifice my career for the plan he wanted.. I know that he is so good for allowing me to work abroad for this is what I wanted to mold myself and to help my parents as well.. Yes, indeed that after my contact our plans to get marry will be the next...and I am happy when thinking of that... However, half of my mind says, "Are you satisfied being jobless again??" because my boyfriend doesn't want me to go back abroad.. For that, I think f something that will benefit us both because let's be honest, job opportunity in the Philippines is so thin that no one can hang-on it...sometimes we need someone to provide us rope to grab such opportunity or someone that will let us open the door... but I'm not like that.. My surname is not a golden ticket for me to enter the room.. So, i think of solution that will make us productive but I'm not sure he will grab it for he is loving being a marine engineer/seaman... I want him to work as land base with me abroad...
So the problem now is that how could I ever look for a better job in the Philippines when I know there is no job to provide additional butter to the bread...I don't want to be useless all the time because I know that I am young and capable to have work while taking care of my future family and all the extensions...
I don't know what my Bf is thinking now and in the future while I'm still away from him for 2 years...
All I can say is that "Come what May" and let God's give us guidance that whatever we plan will work out when that future comes... For now, I have to concentrate on what God gave to me then I will be okay and so as my ever loving boyfriend...
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